Throwing Off the Old for the New

"Every loss in life I consider as the throwing off of an old garment in order to put on a new one; and the new garment has always been better than the old one."

~Hazrat Inayat Khan Gayan
This quote is something I am DEFINITELY learning right now in life. I am realizing how addicted I have become to things, thoughts, false ideas, people, even emotions. Every time I step into a new space of growth and remove the old layer that I no longer need, I am consistently worried that it is going to feel painful or I might lose something that has too much significance for me to let it go! I soon learn, through the process, what a lie that is that I keep telling myself. It's kind of like when you lose or misplace something for an extended period of time and then you find it. When you finally find it, you realize how well you did without it and that life went on probably with you not even missing it.
This is what releasing of old emotional and spiritual baggage has felt like lately, for me. Every time I get to that place where I think, "I can't let go of that. I need it. It's helped me for so long and now if I let go I will miss it WAY to much and I won't be able to function without it." When I hear this cycle through my head, it am learning to recognize the lie that it is. As soon as it enters, I start the process of prayer and asking for the truth of seeing things as He sees them. Then asking Him to replace the false belief pattern with one that emanates His LOVE and LIGHT and TRUTH. When I do this, there seems to be NO pain at all. What I thought I desperately needed, is instantly replaced with new and life giving ideas and thoughts and pure, unadulterated peace. It really is THAT SIMPLE!! I think it might be FINALLY sinking in, the idea that if it isn't simple to understand and easy to apply, it really isn't a God given universal truth.
I was searching the internet the other day on info and sites which talk about unassisted childbirth. I found a GREAT one that a woman named Laura Shanley put together called Bornfree! I am learning that is another word for unassisted childbirth. I really LOVED scouring her site for new and educational info. She has some AWESOME videos that were really FUN to watch. One of my favorites is one where Ina May Gaskin is discussing childbirth. Ina May is considered one of the most educated leaders in regards to midwifery. One of my favorite books she has written is called "Spiritual Midwifery." It is one of the first books I ever read in regards to midwifery. I thought I would go ahead and post all 3 videos here for your viewing pleasure. I just know when I go to a blog or site, I am so grateful when they have just posted the videos instead of sending me somewhere else. It makes life just that much easier.
Ok, so after I made the comment about how easy it is to post the videos, I can't seem to get them to embed on my page. I am not sure what is up so you can watch Video 1, Video 2, and Video 3 by clicking on them. I hope you enjoy!
The raw food has still been TONS of FUN!! Overall, I think like I stated on my last post, I am feeling better. I am still pretty consistently nauseated but....the nausea isn't NEAR as bad as it had been. I can function at a MUCH higher pace than previously. I am still all raw and having a PARTY all the time. A good friend and I went up to Omar's a few days ago. It was so DIVINELY DELICIOUS!! I have been really wanting to go up there for about a month now. He is in a new location which is basically across the street from his old place. It is MUCH more serene and BEAUTIFUL! There is the quiet tranquility that resides there. I normally just relish in being at his place and slowly enjoying the food and atmosphere but this time was the BEST so far, I think.
I hadn't seen Omar in awhile so we caught up on new thoughts and ideas. I told him about the pregnancy. He actually guessed it before I even mentioned it. I think he noticed my belly though. Then he immediately stated it was a girl. Every single person I have told about the pregnancy, which has been quite a few at this point, has said it is a girl!! I think Chris won't let himself believe it because there is a part of him that wants another girl so badly. We'll we will see in about 5 1/2 months won't be. I do not plan on getting an ultrasound so.....it will be a waiting game.
At Omar's we ate his YYYYYUUUUUMMMMMMMYYYYYY Curried Seaweed Rolls, Pizza, and Falafal Bowl which I am pretty sure is still my favorite. I have really gotten to the point in my diet where I NEVER make gourmet raw foods. I know I have already said this before but if it takes me longer than 5 minutes to make it, I won't. That is why going up to Omar's is just so EXCITING and INVITING!! Thanks Omar for making my week just that much more AWESOME!
Another friend of mine has a GREAT little blog that I LOVE to read. One of her recent posts was where she was discussing listening to a raw food/homebirth teleconference I did awhile back. One of my friends (whom I helped deliver), her mom, and I were had a BLAST talking about the benefits of raw foods in pregnancy and birth and the outcomes of babies and moms from eating them. Well, on her blog she was stating how she LOVED what Judy had stated in regards to Gina's birth. She was hoping and praying that it would be UNEVENTFUL and it WAS! My friend, Annalise, is hoping that her pregnancy and birth goes the same way. I am NOW on that same bandwagon. Along with so many other intentions I have made and keep replaying daily in my heart and mind, my new affirmation is that my birth and pregnancy will be UNEVENTFUL, DELICIOUS, and NUTRITIOUS!! I know that sounds a bit dorky but.....that's me! I LOVE IT!!
I hope everyone is gearing up for the New Year. We are planning on having the time of our lives, loving and connecting with each other. That is how I want to bring in the New Year. Let's all start it off with a BANG of renewed hope for ourselves, loved ones, for all humanity and life upon our dear planet Earth. Let's just all open our hearts to the ultimate connection we can with ourselves, our Higher Power and each other. To this year, loving a bit deeper, being vulnerable a bit more often, and finding the resolve to progress on a path of peace and forgiveness for all!!
Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Merry Belated Christmas

I am so sorry about the delay in posting. I did really want to post on Christmas and wish everyone a VERY MERRY one but.....there have been some glitches. Thankfully my AMAZINGLY computer whiz brother is getting the problem fixed. Some of the pictures may not come up properly for awhile but other than that, things should work as normal.

Did anyone celebrate and connect even deeper with loved ones on the solstice moon? I sure did. I thought it was SO BEAUTIFUL right before Christmas. Chris and I just cuddled each other and our children and thanked God for such a GORGEOUS evening sky and such deep connection. I am pretty sure that this sweet spirit inside of me is a FULL MOON baby. Even though we thought we were done with the whole baby thing, I often thought if I ever wanted to get pregnant again it would be on a full moon where the pull and draw from the universe was so strong that nothing can separate us from our deepest passions and desires.
I thought it would be so FUN to post some cute pictures of our Christmas morning. We had SO MANY gifts!! Some very dear, sweet people found out we were planning on putting any extra money into the fix up of our house and so they decided to pick us as a sub-for-santa family. It was AWESOME! My kids had NEVER had so many gifts. I think it was almost like going to Disneyland. So.....Chris gets out the camera to take pictures. He takes 2 pictures and then accidentally drops it on the floor. It has now become FOREVER broken. The little lens thing won't close. We both started laughing and then moved on. Oh well. Hopefully, my kids long term memory works REALLY WELL because that is all they are going to have when they get older. LOL!! Christmas was so GREAT! I love the season TONS and TONS! Each year I am just reminded of all the love, gratitude, and peace that is spread from each of us. I feel all tingly just thinking about it.
I have a few fun things I wanted to share with everyone. I happened to be watching Oprah about a week ago, something I haven't done in I can't remember how long. (it was a really feeling sick day so all I could was stare at the TV to not puke) Well, there is the woman named Priscilla Dunstan on it. She was discussing how hard it had been for her when her first baby was born REALLY understanding what her baby wanted and how to meet it's needs. It comes out that Priscilla has phonographic hearing, which means she can hear things others can't. She started listening to what her as it made sounds BEFORE it started crying. She found that her baby was talking to her. She did TONS of research on it for 8 years and found that the talking her baby made was pretty consistent with every other baby and there were a few basic sounds the each baby made that actually meant something in regards to what it might need. So then, she made a video and a little booklet to help other Mom's and Dad's understand the sounds and their meanings. It's called the Dunstan Baby Language and I got it for Christmas. I haven't watched it yet but did see some good footage on Oprah. I am REALLY excited for Chris and I to watch it together so he can understand it too! I hope everyone with small babies or expected a small baby will look into it.
The other item I am anxious to share, I have already mentioned a couple of times I think. The other gift I requested for Christmas was the Birth As We Know It video. So.....Chris and I watched it last night and I LOVED it. Chris even liked it. I had to somewhat coerce him to watch it but he said he was really glad he did when we were done. I wholeheartedly believe almost all of what is taught by Elena in the video and on her website. The SO GREAT news is that I am planning on going to her conference in LA in March. She is actually holding a class a day after the raw film festival. If I can somehow raise or produce enough money, I would like to go to both but....we'll see about that. I am going to be working VERY HARD at trying to consciously create that one. As of right now, I have my lovely sister in law Yulia coming with me. One of the reasons I am posting this is because I am wondering if there might be anyone else out there who would be interested in going. I am trying to round up, at least, 2 more people to help pitch in for gas. I am open to having even more than that come. The more the merrier I say. Then we can all split the costs of things. I am hoping to be able to stay with a friend out there that I haven't even contacted yet. If that doesn't work out, then I guess we will be doing the hotel thing and probably only be able to afford the 2 day conference.
If you might be interested, PLEASE email me ASAP. We have to send a $100 deposit to hold our spots within the next few weeks. Anyone who might be interested, this will be SUCH a INSPIRING, EMPOWERING, LIFE CHANGING, FUN trip. I wouldn't miss it!!
Now about the diet. I am eating all raw. I really am feeling so precious about it right now. It feels like a Christmas gift I am giving myself. This has been going on for about a month now. I think, let's all cross our fingers and say lots of prayers, that my nausea is subsiding a bit. It is still not completely gone but....I still just keep a prayer of gratitude in my heart at all times that I am feeling better and better every day.
This last week, 2 days before Christmas, I ran a fever. I had forgotten how awful fevers feel. I think this is part of the reason I am feeling better though. I know I moved a TON of unwanted energy. It was/is AWESOME!! I bawled and prayed most of the day. I could tell just so much was moving and stirring inside of me and then I awoke in the morning to feel SO GOOD!! Good 'ol cleansing!!
Right now, I am CRAVING avocados like crazy. I can't seem to get enough of them. Today I have 2 big salads with avocado and OJ as the dressing. YUMMOOOOOOO!!!! Plus, I am SO LICKING MY LIPS on my fresh squeezed OJ. I had forgotten about our little family favorite of putting frozen blueberries in as ice cubes. The blueberries seep into the juice and then become soft and SCRUMPTOUS! You should try it.
Ok, I think I'm done for tonight. As I type this, I am looking down at my gut which is growing. It is funny because my uterus is growing but not enough to really tell. Inside it is pushing up my hernia which now looks quite LARGE to me. Gratefully, I just look pregnant and farther along than I really am. I had someone ask me the other day if I was 5 months. SO SAD!! Oh well. At least now I don't have to wear my hernia belts and when I don't and someone asks if I am pregnant, I can say I am.
One last thing.....my sister got married last week. CONGRATS Jeff and Kim. I LOVE YOU BOTH TONS!! I hope you are having a BLAST in Costa Rica. I sure wish I was there with you!
Abundant peace,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Happiness is Spiritual

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude."
~Dennis Waitley

I thought this was a FUN little quote to share with you all. I almost went too long again before I posted. Time is just flying right now. I am sure it is the time of year! We are all so busy with the holidays and gathering food and gifts for the upcoming festivities. You might think that we are doing the same thing in our home but....in actuality, we are getting heat put in!! Yeah! We haven't had it for a few weeks now so we have been carrying electric heaters from room to room. Not so warm! Then with the help of some AMAZING friends and family, we are getting a whole new heating system that should be up and running in the next couple of days. I am so EXCITED! Who knew that Christmas would be so neat because we get heat? (I didn't mean that to rhyme but kind of fun that it did.) So....my sweet hubby is working hard at doing his normal car business routine on top of really getting going on fixing up our house. This is the BEST Christmas EVER!!
I know with my last post I thanked lots of people. This time I want to say a HUGE thank you to all the people who have gotten involved in putting time and money into really helping us make our house a home. Words really can't even express our gratitude to you all!! I am not even sure if anyone who is helping will even read this but.....I sure feel good just writing it and sending it out there for whoever to read.
Don't you just LOVE that quote I posted up top? I was thinking about that quote and comtemplating real happiness. I am sure that the concept it teaches isn't really new to any of us but do we really believe it? Have we gotten to a place in our lives where we have searched for happiness in other avenues and have yet to find what we are looking for? I sure have!! I think I am just barely getting the idea deep into my heart so I can put it into practice.
It made me think of the Christmas season and all the getting and giving we receive. My family has a blog that we all post on to keep each other abreast of our lives happenings. My brother Brian just recently sent a really cool link to a site that discusses what true consumerism means in our society here and now. On the site, there is a VERY INFORMATIVE and EDUCATIONAL and CUTE little video put together called "The Story of Stuff." This site has been going around a lot lately so maybe you have already seen it but....if you haven't, WATCH IT!! I just loved it. Chris and I watched it together, after I had already watched it once with my kids, and the idea isn't new to us but reinforced what we already believed that really want to apply to our lives. I think it can be beneficial to watch even before we do our Christmas shopping. It might help us to be a little more aware of what we are buying and why we are doing so.
After watching the video, I understood even more deeply where true happiness does come from and how I can bring more of it into my life. We have been taught and trained in such a way that our ideas and concepts of our world are SO ULTIMATELY skewed that it seems almost impossible to turn off the vicious wheel of consumerism and truly learn a better, more peaceful, more productive way of life for all living things. One last thought that doesn't even apply to what I am talking about here. I am looking our my window right now and it is snowing. OH MY GOODNESS!! It is GORGEOUS! I just had to share that because I was just feeling overwhelmed with how BEAUTIFUL and AWESOME it is!!
Well, for those interested, I have actually been eating more raw food than I have in awhile. I have gone the last several days eating all raw. It has been interesting. I have not purposely chose to really incorporate all raw, it has just kind of gone that way. I have found that eating heavier cooked just DOES NOT even sound good to me. It's been funny because I will see something cooked and then taste it thinking I will like it but....it ends up tasting really gross to me. I had thought to myself, "Maybe I want to really try to eat 100% strict raw throughout this pregnancy." Then I came back to where I am at and really enjoying and thought "No way would I want to put any more pressure on myself right now than I can handle." It was such a refreshing feeling to feel this way. The funny thing though is I still have a hard time with greens unless in a smoothie or covered in a tasty dressing. Even then, who knows if I will like it. LOL!!Plus, even when I eat cooked I must admit, I feel it is still very healthy and good for me. I stay away from processed foods and everything I eat is a whole food with very little, if none, additives or preservatives. I thought about keeping up with the charting of what I eat but unless I write it down, I have a hard time always remembering.
I will tell you that right now I am LOVING my fresh squeezed OJ. This is my favorite time of year and that is one of the reasons. I drink TONS everyday and it is YUMMMMMYYYYY!! I must go now because my nausea is kicking in and I want some OJ!
Peace to you all,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Grace & Ease

WHOA!! Has it really been a full week since I posted last? Sorry guys. This week has been a CRAZY one. It started off, in the VERY early Monday morning hours, with my dear sweet friend delivering a BEAUTIFUL 8 lb. little boy. She was SUCH a trooper and hung in there when the going got REALLY tough. She had this MIRACULOUS water birth that she just wouldn't give up on! Her husband was absolutely AMAZING in giving her the LOVE and SUPPORT she desperately needed. Then, at the last minute, her gifted mother showed up to help when we needed her most. Things couldn't have turned out better, I believe. I was, once again, honored to be part of such an AWESOME event. Thank you Lisa and Jason. You are both people I feel blessed to have a part of my life and have learned so much from you both.

Then, on Tuesday, I awoke with the overwhelming need to vomit profusely. This went on for 2 whole days. It really did seem like forever. Up to that point, I hadn't even vomited yet. I had felt my normal consistent, severely annoying nausea but....no running to the toilet for relief. I was quite happy to had gone for so long. That hadn't been the case in previous pregnancies. During those 2 days, I could keep NOTHING down. Eating already feels burdensome but this was just AWFUL!
I have been contemplating and praying about why I might just "all of a sudden" decide to vomit and then have it stop so abruptly. (By Thursday morning, it finally stopped only to have me return to my previous constant nausea state.) I really felt that it wasn't some kind of virus or bacteria. That was my first thought. So then......I moved onto what it might be emotionally. I still am a bit undecided. I think it was a compilation of feelings and thoughts that brought me to that point. I think maybe part of my feelings were brought up by Lisa's birth realizing that in about 6 months, I would be doing that same act myself. I still have some strong feelings on this birth that I am trying to work out and really release. I still feel torn on so many different levels. My acceptance level of the situation is much stronger than before which is GREAT!! But....I am still trying to really get into the groove of letting go of some false beliefs I have let creep in over the past few years. It's been FUN because it's really down in the dirt, nitty gritty stuff I have been needing to look at for awhile. So I figure what a lovely way to just look at it honestly and move on. I must say at first it felt a bit more painful but the more I remain in that space of peace and tranquility and really try to remove any drama OH.......SO MUCH EASIER life becomes. It's like taking a really deep breath and then being so grateful when that gentle relaxed feeling comes over your whole body. I just LOVE that!!
The other thing that helped my move through my nausea was my SO GIFTED energy worker friend Becky. Let me just say HOW MUCH I love her!! She is one of my best friends and has been there for me through thick and thin! Thank you BECK! The morning after she worked on me was one of the BEST mornings so far in this pregnancy. Anything I might know in regards to energy work and spiritual health I learned from her. SO NEAT!!
Ok, so then, by Thursday I was feeling MUCH better so now it was time to plan the wedding shower for my sister Kim. I had already put some effort into it but with how gross I had been feeling, I had procrastinated quite a bit. I spent the next couple of days trying to gather all I might need for that. It turned out so FUN with the help of so many other people. Thanks Mom, Audrey, and Melinda for doing the games! And my AWESOME friend Shauna helped to bring the food!! Then we don't want to forget Yulia, who let us hold it at her home. She cleaned and scrubbed to make it so nice for us! THANK YOU ALL!!! I was really grateful for the shower. It gave me an opportunity to tell my sister how much I LOVED her in front of so many other people. Of course, being pregnant, I had a bit of a meltdown where I really cried and told her how AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL she is. But.....it was really good for me and her, I think.
So....today I am relaxing and just loving my children and hubby. We are spending time together and making some very needed choices on our future. I feel so GRATEFUL, (and I know you have all heard this before but I am going to say it again), to be able to turn my heart and thoughts to my Heavenly Father and Mother and Savior and ask them for help in answers we are looking for. I truly know with their help only gifts of LOVE and PEACE will be sent our way.
Lastly, I have come up with a affirmation for this pregnancy right now. I was needing some help really getting into a space of feeling good consistently so this is what I came up with and thought I would share. Maybe it can help others with same it has helped me, which has been IMMENSELY!!

I will move forward in this pregnancy with GRACE and EASE, PEACE and GENTILITY! All is PERFECT! I am WHOLE!
I know it's pretty basic and simple but THAT'S ME!! Oh, and since I have been thanking everyone for being just so AMAZING, I feel it's important that MOST IMPORTANTLY, I thank my husband. So.....THANK YOU CHRIS!! I LOVE YOU! Thank you for EVERYTHING and I know you know exactly what that means.
I LOVE life!! I LOVE my family! I LOVE you all!! I am blessed that you are all part of my life and teach me SO MUCH!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!
Abundant peace to you all,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Adventerous Day

I am currently on my mother-in-laws computer typing this because our computer is on the fritz. I am just sitting here feeling grateful that I can post from any computer. It doesn't really matter. What a blessing.

I don't really have any exciting news to share. I just thought I would post before time got away. I am still nausea. Last night was pretty bad!! The sickest I had felt yet. I almost threw up but not quite. That was nice.
Yesterday was more FUN than usual for me. I actually left my house and went out. Can you believe it? I was feeling a bit of cabin fever so even though I felt as sick as usual, I just HAD to get out and see the world. I think I had almost forgotten there was one. So.....Chris and I went out to eat with his cousin and new wife. They are SUCH a cute couple and to be honest, quite perfect for each other. I really LOVE Asuka. They have great Miso soup and then I get these special hand rolls that they make just for me. What they are is avocado and cucumber wrapped in seaweed in a hand roll style. I ask for no rice and that's it. When I first ordered this they thought I was crazy but the sweet chef made it and it was PERFECT! For those of you who LOVE sushi but aren't eating it for health reasons or what not, you should really try this. I think you will find it MUCH to your liking. It has done a great job of fulfilling all of my sushi craving needs without having to eat all the stuff I know isn't good for me.
Then we went and did some shopping for our house and odds and ends. For the first time in our 12 1/2 years of marriage, we actually bought Christmas ornaments for our tree. All the others had been gifts and for awhile I was part of an ornament exchange. But....that was when we were very first married. We had SO MUCH fun!! I was grateful that I just felt good enough to get around. Sometimes when I feel really sick but just have to get out of the house, I ride on one of those electric wheel chair carts. I feel I have a good enough excuse, you know, I would just tell the people that work there that I need it to prevent vomit from entering their store floor. Riding around in one of those always makes the trip even more adventerous!! Everyone can laugh all they want. I am slowly learning that I have no shame.
Yesterday I ate:
1 quart water
1 quart green smoothie
water + powered greens
miso soup
3 veggie hand rolls
LOTS of sun dried mulberries
1/2 the container of freeze dried veggies
2 Curry powersticks
water + powered greens
Today I ate:
1 quart water
water + powered greens
1 1/2 quarts green smoothie
lots of blueberries
Raw Cheesy sauce dipped with celery (this is on the recipe page of my site)
some freeze dried veggies
1 asian pear
2 curry powersticks
water + powered greens
Please know that I am drinking water all day long, not just in the morning. I figure I get in 3 quarts to a gallon everyday. Well, I don't know what else to write about. Nothing much else has been going on. Life is kind of boring lately. I will post again when something exciting happens.
Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Conscious Conception

Today I am feeling overwhelmed. Not for any particular reason, I just feel sad. Since we have found out about the pregnancy, I have cried pretty much every day. There are MANY reasons why I might be crying but I am feeling that none of them are really justifiable ones. I was talking to a friend telling her that I have days when I want to blog and complain. That's it!! Just talk about how crappy I am feeling or go on in my little drama land. I am realizing that this behavior doesn't really serve me or anyone around me. It seems it has been so much harder for me to find that place of grace and gratitude. Part of me feels guilty that I feel this way and the other part says "screw it" what does good vibes and feelings really matter anyway. So.....then I put myself together and look at what might be going on honestly and sometimes it is quite painful but the end result is ALWAYS beneficial. Once I am in this space, I must admit, it becomes much easier to be grateful and in a place of peace.

A few days ago, I was craving some yummy raw dish, HARD CORE! I asked Chris to go by The Food Garden and see if there was anything that sounded good to me. When he got there he found some DELICIOUS green soup that Julia had made. OH MY GOODNESS, GUYS!! Go get some. It is so SCRUMPTIOUS! It fulfilled every desire I had for something raw. It was light with so many different tastes an spices. I LOVED the ginger in it! Then for dessert I had some of Raw Melissa's Tropical Ice Cream. That was AMAZING also! I just want to thank the girls at The Food Garden for the efforts they make to have raw dishes available for people like me who might be in need. You guys are AWESOME and you are doing a WONDERFUL thing for our community. All the woman who run the joint are good friends of mine who are strong, powerful, gifted woman. They are the BEST at what they do! THANK YOU!

You know me, I found some more really FUN videos. The first one is about conscious conception. It discusses some theories behind what takes place within our bodies with the creation of a child before the sperm even hits the egg. It is FASCINATING to me!! It is teaching the importance of taking care of ourselves in all aspects of life even BEFORE, months before, we even get pregnant!! I think all of you will enjoy it too!

Then I don't know if any of you woman have ever heard a nurse or midwife comment about what station your baby is at when you are in labor. Have you ever wondered what that exactly means? The station of the baby during labor is where the babies head is located in position to the pelvis. When I first started apprenticing, this was a hard one for me to figure out. But once you recognize where the ischal spine is you know you are at 0 station and then you just register how much higher or lower the baby is in relation to that. It's pretty cool stuff, well to me anyway. Hopefully the rest of you will at least find it somewhat entertaining.

Lastly, I just found a FUN one that shows the power of creation in utero. It's just interesting and exciting to watch. Enjoy!!

I know the last couple posts I haven't mentioned the food thing. Just thinking about food makes me feel nauseated so....to have to remember what I ate is REALLY hard for me right now. But....I will do my best to remember what I ate yesterday and hope that is enough for right now. I will try and post what I eat as much as I can because I have had some people email me and tell me they like that I do. I just hope you'll be understanding if I don't post it and know when I am feeling better, hopefully soon, I will probably be more on the ball with it.

Tuesday, November 27th:
1 quart water
1 1/2 quarts green smoothie
apple juice + green powder
several pieces of dried mango
2 pieces of tropical fruit leather
a vegan veggie burrito from El Azteca
1 quart Julia's green soup
apple juice + green powder

Smells are about to do me in!! My nose is super powered and for any of you who have been nauseated while pregnant can understand, I am sure. Sometimes it feels like a cruel joke that is placed on pregnant woman so God can have a good laugh. I am kidding, of course, with that comment. A friend of mine mentioned that he believed that when we are pregnant we are smelling with our spiritual noses. Basically that means that because of the cleansing and rebuilding that is taking place during pregnancy, our sense of the world around us is heightened to a place that is actually as it should be. When we are not pregnant, our senses then have the ability to be dulled. I thought it was an interesting idea and just thought I would share it with y'all.

Well, until next time.
Abundant peace,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Relishing in Feeling

I seem to have nothing but time on my hands, as of late. I usually don't even leave my bed until sometime between 10 and noon. So....during that time, I am most likely on the internet scouring for interesting or inviting things to keep me entertained while I do my best to refrain from throwing up.

This morning I was remembering a time several months ago when my sister Kim showed me a new musician she has recently heard of. We laid on my bed, in my embarrassingly dirty room, just being close to each other while relishing in the new sounds we were fascinated with. I immediately was taken with Regina Spektor's music. My interest was peaked even more when I learned a bit about her life and where she came from.

I no longer live in the world of singledom and therefore haven't had any extra time on my hands to just sit back and really enjoy new music, well until recently. I know in my last post I spoke of Millie and I bonding over enlightening listen pleasure together so I thought I would go ahead and carry on that theme. I have found during this pregnancy that music seems to fill me differently than I remember it ever doing before. I do feel much more vulnerable in most areas of my life right now but I seem to just relish, more than ever, really FEELING music and understanding it's written and unwritten meanings. For some of my brothers and sisters, I think this is a more common occurrence than it has been for me.

When I first started noticing this change inside myself, I found that I would fight my feelings. I would do my best to "take control" and refuse to let myself feel the joy, sadness, peace, or love or whatever that I might be feeling. Being the control freak that I am, when I feel the need to release in the form of tears, I believe I have mastered the ability to hold back the flood. Which I have found to be quite a disheartening thing, not a happy one.

I am still learning to truly let myself feel ALL my feelings, the whole gamete and spectrum of them. Most recently when these sensations come on it feels as if a dam has broken lose and there is NO WAY to hold back what just came flowing out of it. I seem to no longer have the ability to stop the flood that I, in the past, had perfected from becoming present and surfacing.

I am intrigued by my inability to have any control over it any longer. To be honest, I am actually learning to be grateful for it. I am recognizing and realizing that it might actually be a gift from God to help me really look at myself a bit better and with a bit more clarity. I am sure that what I am seeing and feeling now is the person I have always been. It is just beginning to shine like I never let it before. I am apologize if I am not making any sense. I felt a strong need to share this with others. I hope you enjoy the videos and even go to Regina's site and listen to more of her music. If you don't appreciate her music, then I pray you will return to the sounds and songs that sing to your heart and truly LET IN and RELEASE from each note and word to see the NEW YOU whom you might have lost for a time.

Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I have been contemplating my life!! Today my daughter came to me and asked if she could watch a video on You Tube by Sarah McLachlan. She LOVES her music, as do I. We sat together listening and singing! We shared a moment of LOVE and HARMONY between us that was so DELIGHTFUL! This is one of the things I am grateful for. I have found in my life, these times are so SPECIAL that when our sweet memories come forth, this is what we really remember. I LOVED listening to this and letting myself FEEL my feelings and shed tears and rejoice in such BEAUTIFUL music. Here it is!!

Then a good friend sent me this link to this SO CUTE little boy who COMPLETELY understood who our Savior is and how much God LOVES us. This brought tears to my eyes and just filled my heart with COMPASSION and UNDERSTANDING for all the AMAZING children who are so in tune with themselves and who God is. Enjoy this as well.I feel so BLESSED, just like Logan, to have a Savior who LOVED all of us enough to give himself to us more FULLY than any other human being could. I feel a closeness and grace to Him in my life that I have NEVER felt before. The bond I feel towards Him, my Heavenly Father and Mother has become tighter and stronger than at any other time in my life.

Also, the LOVE and SUPPORT I have felt from friends and loved ones over the past few month has been another AWESOME gift. I know I have said it before recently but I will say it again. THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! Some of you have emailed me or made comments sending your thoughts and sweet words my way. I just feel overwhelmed at times by it all!! Please keep it coming, I still need it and I hope I can do the same for each of you!

Lastly, my life would not be as WONDERFUL and GLORIOUS as it is without my loving, gifted, thoughtful, empathic, compassionate, and giving husband. Of course, I could go on and on about how much I love him and how he has stood by my side and helped me through so much but I don't think my brain is even big enough to fully comprehend it. I just know what I feel in my heart and it is full of GRATITUDE for him in my life. He has shown me part of myself that I didn't even know existed and how when I need to feel more LOVE for myself, I only have to look through his eyes at how much he LOVES me. I LOVE you, Chris!! I hope your tummy and heart are FULL this Thanksgiving.

Abundant peace to you all,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Water Babies & Thankfulness

A couple years ago I went to a water birth conference that was AMAZING! There was a woman who taught a few classes on water birth. She is HIGHLY EDUCATED and INSPIRATIONAL to listen to. Her name is Cornelia Enning. She has spent years researching birth and has found some new research that I had never heard of before in regards to birth. I remember her teaching the idea of the importance of catching your own baby and the significance of the bonding that takes place just by that one act in delivery.

She also teaches about Water Babies. This is the idea that babies are born knowing how to swim and be one with water. She mentioned working out our own emotional issues and rebirthing with water. This is only one of the reasons for the water babies. It is a very educational website with LOADS of information that quite intriguing. She even has a page of recommended reading which I am excited to purchase a few.

Here is another video which someone demonstrates the idea. This is a twin birth that is probably one of my favorite videos I have found yet. I really LOVE this one.

Here is another video that just shows statistics and factual information about birth. Isn't You Tube great? It has been REALLY FUN for me to show the videos and aid in educating others through them. Our modern technology is just SO COOL!!

Here is what I ate over the last 2 days.

Friday, November 16th:
1 quart water
water & powered greens
2 bananas
2 quarts green smoothie
bag of raw flax crackers a friend brought me
Corn tortilla and hummus wraps
1 cup Edemame

Saturday, November 17th:
1 quart of water
apple juice & powered greens
1 1/2 quarts Naked Juice Greens drink
2 apples
5 Clausen pickles
Large salad with DELICIOUS raw dressing a friend made
small piece vegan cheesecake
handful of popcorn while at a movie

Yesterday afternoon I had a great opportunity to work through some emotional issues and actually felt TONS better all afternoon and into the evening. It was such a GIFT!! As I was saying my prayers yesterday, each prayer was one of gratitude for even the small moments of reprieve. It really helps me get through so much to try to find that space of gratitude.

I must admit that when I feel so GROSS, it seems OUTRAGEOUSLY hard for me to be grateful. I am still in awe that life seems to be SO much better when I feel better. I was telling a friend a few days ago that when I prayed in the past, I really felt like a beggar but.....now I think I understand what the scriptures state about being a true beggar. Most days I am having a hard enough time just getting a few things done. I feel truly blessed to be able to understand a bit better what exactly the Savior is teaching when he is teaching the idea of the beggar. At this point in time, I have a VERY hard time making it through the day without begging to the Lord for help and mercy. I find that when I do this, the world then seems feels a bit brighter, more peaceful and easily bearable. God's grace is truly sufficient for us all. Such a BEAUTIFUL thing!!

The other was very hard and a good friend (who much have been inspired ) sent me an AWESOME video that helped keep me inspired and open to striving to stay in gratitude. It can be found at www.gratefulness.org. The whole website is A LOT of FUN!! I would recommend reading through it. It will help uplift your day and bring gladness to your heart. I want to share the video with you all. It is quite appropriate for Thanksgiving and will help us get prepared to truly understand what giving THANKS really means.

And one more that is just as inspiring and BEAUTIFUL!! Please share these with others and pass along all the goodness, gratitude and LOVE they share with us!!

Have a HAPPY weekend!! I hope this isn't too many videos for today. I just LOVE them and really wanted to share some of what I have found to help me find peace and LOVE in my heart each and everyday.

Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Everday Miracles

I know in the past I have talked about of my favorite books, "Autobiography of a Yogi." Paramahansa Yogananda was a Hindu Christian who taught both theologies. The book is BEAUTIFULLY written with loads and loads of OUTSTANDING truths. Here is a part of the book I wanted to share with you all. I LOVE what he says here. It has inspired me to really think.

"A 'miracle' is commonly considered to be an effect or event without law, or beyond law. But all events in our precisely adjusted universe are lawfully wrought and lawfully explicable. The so-called miraculous powers of a great master are a natural accompaniment to his exact understanding of subtle laws that operate in the inner cosmos of consciousness.

Nothing may truly be said to be a 'miracle' except in the profound sense that everything is a miracle. That each of us is encased in an intricately organized body, and is set upon earth whirling through space among the stars-is anything more commonplace? or more miraculous?

Great prophets like Christ and Lahiri Mahasaya usually perform many miracles. Such masters have a large and difficult spiritual mission to execute for mankind; miraculously helping those in distress appears to be part of that mission. Divine fiats are required against incurable diseases and insoluble human problems. When Christ was asked by the nobleman to heal his dying son at Capernaum, Jesus relied with wry humor: 'Except ye see signs and wonder, ye will not believe.' But he added: 'Go thy way; thy son liveth.' (John 4:46-54)

In this chapter I have given the Vedic explanation of maya, the magical power of illusion that underlies the phenomenal worlds. Western science has already discovered that 'magic' of unreality pervades atomic 'matter.' However, it is not only Nature, but man also (in his mortal aspect) who is subject to maya: the principle of relativity, contrast, duality, inversion, oppositional states.

It should not be imagined that the truth about maya was understood only by the rishis. The Old Testament prophets called maya by the name of Satan (lit. in Hebrew 'the adversary'). The Greek Testament, as an equivalent for Satan, uses diabolos or devil. Satan or Maya is the cosmic magician who produces multiciplicity of forms to hide the One Formless Verity. In God's plan or play (lila), the sole function of Satan or Maya is an attempt to divert man from Spirit to matter, from Reality to unreality.

Christ describes maya picturesquely as a devil, a murderer, and a liar. 'The devil.....was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.' (John 8:44)

'The devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.' (I John 3:8) That is, the manifestation of Christ Consciousness, within man's own being, effortlessly destroys the illusions or 'works of the devil.'

Maya is 'from the beginning' because of it's structural inherence in the phenomenal worlds. These are ever in transitional flux as antithesis to the Divine Immutability."

I have really enjoyed finding so many congruent truths in many different places. I have my Christian beliefs that I was raised with. I am so thankful for them and LOVE to learn as much as I can about my Savior, who he was and is how he lived his life. As I have read other religious books that I have found some AMAZING ideas that all coincide with my personal spiritual beliefs. This only tells me that you can find the ultimate truths in most religious and spiritual theologies. Here's a short video with thoughtful singing and pictures of Paramahansa.

Today hasn't been SUPER hard with the whole morning sickness thing. Not like my last post anyway. I am still just working on emotionally being ok with the whole thing. I feel like it just sprang on us and I think my control freak brain is having a REALLY tough time letting that sink in. There is a part of me that is feeling bad, like there is something wrong with me, that I am having such a hard time eating all raw. But....then I feel torn by another side that is stating it's all good and things are as they should be, just accept and be grateful. That I am really doing the BEST I can right now. I think that side is winning out more than the all raw side which to be honest, is a blessing right now.

My sister stated once that there were only 2 words to describe pregnancy. They are lethargy and apathy. I used to think she was right on and she pretty much is with the lethargy part but I have found, especially this pregnancy, that I am the opposite of apathy. There is part of me that I wish could care less about SO many things right now. This morning my kids put in one of their favorite CD's which is just a whole bunch of songs they really like. I sat and bawled as I listened to them. It was such a surreal, strange experience to FEEL the music so well. I have turned into a bawl baby!! I was actually thankful this morning to be able to really appreciate my new sensations and just enjoy the process of crying and releasing. This is SO ABNORMAL for me that I have to really let myself let go and just feel. What a new time for growth and learning!!

Here is what I ate yesterday.
Wednesday, November 14th:
1-2 quarts of water
water & powdered greens
2 bananas
2 1/2 quarts green smoothie
1 banana
Edemame
2 avocado sushi rolls
1 cucumber sushi roll
1/2 of a cocoa mole Lara Bar

So far today I have had:
Thursday, November 15th:
1 quart of water
fresh apple and carrot juice with powered green
3 grapefruits
2 cups eggs with potatoes
For dinner, I will be having green soup with artichoke hearts and probably the rest of my Lara Bar from yesterday.

I am excited and sad for Thanksgiving. I am excited just because it is SUCH a FUN holiday!! But I am sad because I feel so sick and I am afraid all the smells will do me in. I will just be grateful that most other people feel great and have a JOYFUL time with their families and loved ones.

Abundant peace to all,
Rachel


by Rachel Talley

Hanging in There

I thought I would post again before time gets away from me. Today was an AWFUL day!! The sickest I have been yet. I didn't even get out of bed until about 1 pm. Thanks goodness for a WONDERFUL husband and my mother in law. My in laws live with us and she has been such an AWESOME help during this past week. I am SO thankful to her!! Also, I feel so BLESSED that my children are older. Well, old enough to be able to entertain themselves and if need be, feed themselves. My oldest is 11 and such a lifesaver sometimes. I was able to lay in bed this morning undisturbed. SO NICE!!

I figure I'll go ahead and get the food out of the way.

Monday, November 12th I ate:
1-2 quarts of water
water & powdered greens
2 bananas
1 1/2 quarts green smoothie
1 grapefruit
Corn Tortilla wrap which consist of hummus, romaine, smoked dulse, tomatoes, salsa and green sauce. LOVE IT!! This is another GREAT transitional food. You can even put raw hummus in it and then it's mostly raw.
1 English cucumber
3 oranges
handful of peanuts
water & powdered greens

Tuesday, November 13th:
1-2 quarts of water
2 bananas
2 quarts green smoothie
1 banana
Tofu Lettuce Wraps from P.F. Chang's
Mixed Veggies from P.F. Chang's
Izze's Sparkling Pomegranate Juice
Cocoa Mole Lara Bar
16 oz. orange mint water
water & powdered greens

It was all I could do today to even eat. Nothing sounded good and by the time dinner rolled around I told Chris he had to take me somewhere to eat because everything sounded DISGUSTING!! Luckily, the lettuce wraps were DELICIOUS!! I can't remember the last time I was SO THANKFUL when food tasted good! I sure have been appreciating when things taste good and I don't feel sick!

Emotionally, life seem overwhelming. It has been hard for me to wrap my brain around doing so little. Last night at our little group, my friend David was talking to everyone and called my pregnancy my "confinement." This actually made me feel SO much better about being such a slacker. Even though today felt so awful, I was able to get a few things done in regards to cleaning part of my house. That was really nice. But.....I just keep praying that I can accept my current situation and do what I can do help myself deal with it better emotionally, physically and spiritually. Today was harder to find that space of gratitude but when I get those few moments of peace, it makes it much easier.

I have been using digestive enzymes when I eat cooked foods. There is a book that was written called "Enzyme Nutrition" by Edward Howell. I read it years and years ago when I first went raw. It's a great book but in it he talks about taking digestive enzymes when eating heavier foods and the benefits of just taking them on a regular basis. Ever since I got out of the hospital years ago, I have taken them and found they really helped. I think they have helped with my nausea a bit, which is AWESOME! This is a very informative book in regards to why someone might consider eating more raw foods.

I just wanted to thank everyone for all the prayers. I can tell they are really helping to keep my spirits up. It has been such a blessing to have so many AMAZING people in my life who care so much about me and my family. I am so grateful, from the bottom of my heart. I am sure I might be in a worse place without your LOVE!

I think I am done posting for today. I am sorry I don't have more to post. Hopefully something will come to me soon but....my brain feels out of sorts and a bit slow lately.

Abundant peace,
Rachel


by Rachel Talley

Raw Food, Milk & Eggs

Since I have been so excited about posting videos, I decided to post another one. I really like this one and it is only a minute long. It is showing the normal process of delivery. Imagine going though this process in only one minute. Talk about painful!!!

I just think it's really cool how they showed all the correct movements of the baby and the restitution and so forth. I showed this to my kids one day for home school and they really enjoyed it. I decided to show it to them because Golden had been asking how exactly babies are made. I was really grateful for all my anatomy and physiology books to be able to show, I guess it was only Dean and Golden, some of the things that take place when babies are made. Some of the information was a bit too much for them but we stopped when they decided they didn't want to hear anymore. It enjoyed teaching them about this since, of course, it's one of my favorite subjects.

I am excited about posting another video too. It is EDUCATIONAL along with being BEAUTIFUL. It looks like it was put together by an midwife in Oregon. It might have some scenes that are too graphic for some of you. It is only a montage of pictures but....it does show woman and babies during and after birth. I really LIKE this one. I hope everyone else does too!!

Ummm......I am just going to throw it out there. I ate EGGS. Can you believe it? I actually can't. Yesterday morning Chris came up stairs with an omelet he had made for himself. I wanted to eat some SO BAD!! I don't know if any of you can relate but when I am pregnant and feel so nauseated, I sometimes obsess about eating something because it is the ONLY thing that sounds good.

I went to whole day without eating any until last night I couldn't stand it anymore. We went over to a friend's house for a get together and she was making pasta and foods I don't eat so....she asked me what I wanted. She had actually already made a salad for me but it sounded and even looked so DISGUSTING to me. (I know Shauna isn't be offended, she understood so I hope others don't think I am being rude.) Then, like an out of body experience, when she asked I said, "I am REALLY craving eggs but I want the yolk really runny and I want to dip whole wheat toast in it." She went ahead and poached me 4 eggs and I ate EVERY ONE with 2 pieces of organic whole wheat toast. I must admit, it was DELICIOUS!! I ate it VERY slow and savored every bite.

I was worried that eating it might make me sicker. Yesterday was the WORST day I have had yet. I was SO sick the whole day and basically laid in bed the whole day. The only reason I ended up going out is because I was going stir crazy with cabin fever. I knew that I could sit around or lay around, if need be, at Shauna's house. But.....I actually feel better today, so far, than I did yesterday. I am SOOOOO grateful for that. Like I said in my last post, I don't think there is any rhyme or reason to my nausea. One thing I have noticed is when I feel angrier or more stressed than normal, I feel a lot sicker. If I had anything to kind of peg it on, I think it would be MUCH more emotional or energetic than anything else.

I thought I would post some thoughts about eggs that Gandhi wrote in one of his writings. I find it interesting. For you strong raw foodist out there, I am not posting this because I even believe it to be true. What I do believe to be true about the story is that there is a TIME and a PLACE for everything that might be beneficial and helpful to us on our path to health and healing. Do I think I was craving the eggs because my body and baby needed them? I don't know and to be honest, I don't really care. For whatever reason, I wanted eggs and whether emotionally or physically they helped me for the time being. I hope that makes sense to others and we can all open our hearts and minds to remove judgement to be open to any healing modality that might aid in helping us achieve our hearts desire.

Here is what Gandhi has to say. Someone is asking him a question about what he feels about eggs in the vegetarian diet. Here is his response.

Eggs are a high-protein food; are they forbidden to satyagrahis?"
"Not unfertilized eggs." The Mahatma laughed reminiscently. "For years I would not countenance their use; even now I personally do not eat them. One of my daughters-in-law was once dying of malnutrition; her doctor insisted on eggs. I would not agree, and advised him to give her some egg-substitute.

"'Gandhiji,' the doctor said, 'unfertilized eggs contain no life sperm; no killing is involved.'
"I then gladly gave permission for my daughter-in-law to eat eggs; she was soon restored to health."

I remember when I first came out the hospital weighing only 95 lbs. after my near death experience. Because I had bowel surgery and TONS of antibiotics, someone mentioned that might consider eating some raw goat yogurt. At the time, it was VERY hard for me to be open to it since I hadn't eaten dairy in years. Chris was worried and asked me to try it. I did for about a month and to be honest, I am grateful that I did. I believe it did help in my healing process. Here are some thoughts on dairy from Gandhi. Again, I believe in an all raw vegan diet, I am just throwing some ideas out there to help us really think about the choices we are making and staying open so we can either help ourselves or maybe even someone else who might need it. I am learning that in life, there are VERY FEW absolutes and that even includes what we eat.

"I have always been favour of pure vegetarian diet. But experience has taught me that in order to be perfectly fit, vegetarian diet must include milk and milk-products such as curd, butter, ghee, etc. This a significant departure from my original idea. I excluded milk from my diet for six years. At that time, I felt none the worse for the denial. But in year 1917, as a result of my ignorance, I was laid down with severe dysentery. I was reduced to a skeleton, but I stubbornly refused to take any medicine and with equal stubbornness refused to take milk or buttermilk. But I could not build up my body and pick up sufficient strength to leave the bed. I had taken a vow of not taking milk. A medical friend suggested that at the time of taking a vow, I could have in my mind only the milk of cow and buffalo; why would the vow prevent me from taking goat's milk? My wife supported him and I yielded. Really speaking, for one who has given up milk, though at the time of taking the vow only the cow and the buffalo were in mind, milk should be taboo. All animal milks have practically the same composition, though the proportion of the components varies in each case. So I may be said to have kept merely the letter, not the spirit, of the vow. But that as it may, goat's milk was produced immediately and I drank it. It seemed to bring me new life. I picked up rapidly and was soon able to leave the bed. On account of this and several similar experiences, I have been forced to admit the necessity of adding milk to the strict vegetarian diet. But I am convinced that in the vast vegetable kingdom there must be some kind, which, while supplying those necessary substances which we derive from milk and meat, is free from their drawbacks, ethical and other."

Please understand that by posting these ideas on my blog, I am not promoting eggs or dairy products. I am only hoping, as I have already stated, that we can all keep an open mind and help others or maybe even ourselves, if need be.

Here is my diet over the last couple of days.

Friday, November 9th:
1-2 quart of water
1 cup OJ with powdered greens
2 cups red raspberry/peppermint tea
3 grapefruits
2 quarts green drink
2 bananas
2 Big bowlfuls of salad from Olive Garden
1 cup water with powdered greens

What I do when I go to Olive Garden is I ask for the all you can eat salad but then I have them tweak it a bit. I ask them to change to lettuce to all romaine, no croutons or onions, extra olives and tomatoes. It is SO YUMMY!!

Saturday, November 10th:
1-2 quart of water
1 cup OJ mixed with powdered greens
2 bananas
2 quarts green drink
1 1/2 quarts green soup
4 eggs with 2 pieces whole wheat toast
1 apple
1 cup water mixed with powdered greens

I don't think I will be eating anymore eggs any time soon though. I have found that when I eat something once, I usually don't want it again for awhile. That kind of sucks since I am used to eating so many of the same things every day. Oh well.

Until next time.
Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Routine Birth

Since I have been talking about laughter and pregnancy, I wanted to post a funny Monty Python skit that was recently sent to one of the Yahoo groups I am in. Please understand, I mean no offense to those of you who have hospital births. I do respect the medical world and what they can and have done for me and my family. It just seemed to me that some of the hospital births I have attended things do kind of go like this. I think things tend to become so routine in hospitals that they forget what pregnancy and birth is really all about. I hope everyone gets a good laugh and enjoys watching.

I actually woke up this morning feeling not as sick. I am still trying to figure out if there is really any rhyme or reason to my nausea. It's funny because in my last post I stated that kombucha was helping me but.....then yesterday I just couldn't bring myself to drink it. Also, the bar that I posted didn't sound good either. I think it's kind of funny that what I thought would work, now sounds disgusting.

But, part of the reason I am hoping I feel better today is because I ate all raw yesterday. It actually didn't feel too hard because I wasn't really craving. I hardest part with this whole process is feeling the need to eat all day long because when I do I tend to feel better. My mind now is CONSTANTLY thinking about what I am going to eat next because NOTHING sounds good. Oh....it really SUCKS!! I went from really never thinking about food and just eating when the hunger kicked in to eating all day long when I don't even feel hungry. I am sorry you guys but part of the reason I am going to be posting more is so I can complain a bit. It helps me to know that I might have an empathetic ear.

Chris made another good point this morning, which I think I talked about in my last post. That is when I feel better to just be grateful. This morning I had some fears creep in as to why I might be feeling better. All kinds of things that I think every pregnant woman thinks. I VERY quickly dismissed those thoughts and decided to just let my heart feel grateful that this morning wasn't as bad as yesterday morning. I do feel VERY grateful to state that I have never had a miscarriage and neither has my only blood sister who has had children. I met a woman who had several miscarriages throughout her childbearing years and my heart felt her sorrow over her loss. So I just said a little prayer for her in my heart. She was just SO cute though. She is pregnant now and ready to deliver any day. I will keep praying for her that all will go well.

Here is what I ate yesterday. It all tasted VERY good. I think I am finding that drinking green smoothies all day long really helps the MOST of anything else I have tried. It keeps something in my stomach and even though it doesn't initially sound good, it always tastes good when I drink it.

Thursday, November 8th:
1-2 quarts of water
1/2 cup OJ mixed with Vitamineral green powder and Primal Defense powder
1 banana
2 1/2 quarts of green smoothie (sipped on every hour)
1 quart green soup with spinach, celery, green onion, avocado, tomato, sea lettuce, dulse, water and chopped marinated artichoke hearts. This tasted SOOOO good.
3 grapefruits
1 pomegranite
1/2 cup OJ mixed with green powders

Oh, and here is what I ate the day before. Which tasted really good but gave me REALLY bad indigestion.

Wednesday, November 7th:
1-2 quarts of water
1/2 cup OJ mixed with green powders
2 quarts green drink
2 bananas
Some pear with a tall glass of fresh OJ which my friend Christa juiced for me
2 Sprouted wheat "pizzas" See recipe from earlier post!!
1 cup raw lemonade
A few pieces of dried mango
1 pomengrante

Lastly, I just wanted to post this AMAZING picture of what my baby might look like at 6 weeks gestation. It is FUN to think he/she has already formed to this extent and most of that forming took place when I didn't even know it was happening. Isn't God and our bodies just so AWESOME? Even though I still have some issues to work out about this baby and pregnancy, I am THANKFUL that I am blessed with another life to help come into this world and begin their path to God, Heavenly Mother and their Savior.

I hope everyone is having a GRAND November getting ready for Thanksgiving and all the festivities. My prayers and LOVE is sent to all of you!!

Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Morning Sickness Aids

Oh my goodness.....complete nausea has kicked in. I wake up all through the night with urges to vomit. Thankfully after a few deep breaths the urge subsides a bit until the next wave comes. Since it has been almost 6 years since the last time I felt this way, I am a bit OVERWHELMED by it. At least with my other 4 children, I felt it every couple of years. Pratt, my youngest, will be just turning 6 by the time I deliver this baby. I can't believe how huge a gap that is.

I just had a friend email me who made a comment about how if I still nauseated during this pregnancy than I probably had more detoxing to do. You know, she is right on!!! But.....not from a physical stand point. I believe it is more emotional/energetic. I first must say that even though I do feel pretty gross, it isn't near what I felt in my previous pregnancies. I am still semi functionable now which in the past I was down and out for months. I watched A LOT of movies and took many naps. Today I actually got up and got dressed. I even did my hair and put some mascara on. That's doing pretty good, in my mind, comparatively speaking.

When I wake in the early morning hours with nausea, I lay there and do some really deep breathing while praying and saying some LOVING affirmations to myself. This helps IMMENSELY. I couldn't believe how much it helped this morning. It wasn't like my nausea disappeared but....I received some relief almost immediately. Then when the relief comes, I just strive to keep my heart in a place of gratitude that I even felt the tiniest amount!!

I have found that actually staying grateful throughout the whole day helps the MOST!! Every time I can get something done or even feel good for even a moment, my heart sings songs of thankfulness for that moment of reprieve. I am telling you.....one thing I have REALLY noticed is just how humble I feel. When you feel so gross on a consistent basis, it puts into this world of really having to turn your heart to God and your Savior. In the past, I felt I was praying all day long but now I realize how much more I could have been praying because now I am doing it.

I have found a new LOVE for my Heavenly Mother. I have felt her close to me for years but over this past year....I have needed the connection and teaching of a angelic being who has been though all I am going through. I just feel SOOOOOOOO blessed that I have someone to talk to who completely understands my pain and sorrow. I am thankful for a Savior who already atoned for my pain so as I stay humble and soft hearted and especially GRATEFUL, I can easily and effectively turn my sorrows and woes to Him and he will LOVINGLY and GRACIOUSLY take them. With where I am at on my path at this time in my life, this speak volumes and volumes of LOVE and COMPASSION to my heart and soul. I DESPERATELY need it!!

From a physical stand point, I have found a couple of things that are helping with my nausea that I thought I would share. First, I am drinking green smoothies almost all day long. I find that keeping something in my stomach helps TONS!! And just sipping on green smoothies takes the edge off where I feel I can deal with life. So nice!!!

Also, I don't know if any of you remember when I was a kombucha freak but.....I remembered telling my clients to drink it to help with their nausea. Many of them stated that it helped. I haven't drank it in a good couple of years. So last night I was in Good Earth and grabbed G.T.'s Synergy Guava Kombucha and it worked WONDERS!! Which is kind of ironic since I think it says on the bottle that it's supposed to do that. LOL!! It actually helped so much. I couldn't believe it.

Something else that seemed to work is my new favorite "power bar." I don't think it's actually a power bar but I don't know what to call it. One of my clients first showed it to me several months ago and I never really thought another thing of it. Then I found it at Good Earth a few weeks ago and was in heaven. Now it's not raw but pretty close, I think anyway. It is called Green + Chocolate Energy Bars. It is DELICIOUS!! I ate one late last night when I started feeling really nausea again and it seem to really help. So....there are my ideas that seem to be working so far. I am SOSOSOSOSOSO GRATEFUL and I pray they keep working.

I have decided that I am going to eat mostly raw during this pregnancy. I am pretty sick in the mornings so it takes all my self discipline to eat since I don't feel like it. Here is what I ate yesterday:

November 7th:
quart or more of water with wintergreen essential oil in it
2 quarts green smoothies. I sip on this throughout the day.
My favorite salad from Chili's which consists of romaine lettuce, guacamole, pico de gallo, corn cut off the cob, and salsa. YUMMY!!
1 Greens + energy bar
1 bottle of guava kombucha
By midnight I was still awake and nauseated, so going against everything inside of me that says to not eat late at night I went ahead and did so I wouldn't vomit.
2 cups mixed veggies that were lightly steamed

There ya have it!!

Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Some New Gossip

Well......I am QUITE shocked but felt the need to share the news. I am PREGNANT!!! I went to a conference from Thursday afternoon to Saturday afternoon this last weekend and sometime Friday afternoon, I started feeling queasy and nauseated. By dinner that night NOTHING sounded good. Those feelings have not stopped since then. I didn't even really think anything of it until Sunday night when I realized I was nauseated before and after eating but...while eating I felt GREAT!! Then I woke up yesterday morning around 5 am wide awake from my queasiness. So, Chris finally went to All a Dollar and bought a pregnancy test (which by the way he has NEVER done in all our marriage) and obviously it was positive, hence writing this post. I then spent the next several hours crying and feeling overwhelmed!! I am still trying to wrap my brain around the idea of having another baby.

We were NOT planning this at all and had been using our same form of birth control that has seemed to work for years. I am 5 weeks along and will be due around July 9th. (I have a theory about woman and strongest ovulation times of the year. Mine would be October. Dean's birthday is July 31st and Pratt is July 16th.) I think I am pretty sure when I got pregnant. I don't usually start feeling sick until around 6 weeks so....I think I might be a little farther along than what the pregnancy chart says. At this point in time, we are planning an unassisted birth. We may have one extra person just for extra hands but....that could be subject to change depending on how my hubby feels about it.

Part of the reason I am sending this post is because I am asking for lots of LOVE and PRAYERS to be sent our way. The kids are ECSTATICALLY happy, yet concerned for my health. Chris is really excited about this baby but I feel a bit scared and apprehensive. We believe that all will go BEAUTIFULLY and I will be HEALTHY and STRONG throughout my pregnancy and birth but it would be nice just to have the added strength of all my AMAZING friends. We love you all!!! Thanks for being there for us!!

I am hoping that because I have eaten so healthy for so long, my nausea will not become to severe. In the past, it has been unbearable with consistent vomiting. At this point, it is manageable which I must say, I have been THANKING God for. That is an AWESOME blessing for me right now. I am still eating a little cooked food. At one point in time, I really thought I wanted to have an all raw pregnancy. Now, I am not so sure. I am praying and contemplating what I think will be best for me and baby. Also, I am in that faze of pregnancy where NOTHING sounds good and really the only reason I even eat is with the hopes that I will have a moments reprieve from feeling sick. But I have found that I really am not craving because of the nausea. So...that could be a good thing because then I just eat what I know is best for me, no matter what.

As I have stated on other posts, when I started eating some cooked I started gaining weight. I have actually only been eating cooked foods for about 3 months now and gained about 10 lbs. I went from about 110-115 lbs. to 120-125 lbs. As I stated above, we have used the same birth control our whole marriage and we have never gotten pregnant unless we were trying. Chris has a theory, which I am just throwing out there I am not sure if I buy it or not, but...he believes over the past couple of years I was too thin and wasn't fully ovulating every month. Like I said, I hope any devout raw foodist doesn't freak out by that comment, I just thought I would mention other thought processes to get you all thinking. I am pretty sure I was ovulating each month but....just never got pregnant. Chris, I think, is wondering if because of my surgery, my body just wasn't healed enough to carry another life. Who knows?

I am still in shock and am trying to let it sink in. I will probably be posting more on my feeling during this pregnancy, than anything else. I can tell I will need the support!! I have been SO grateful for all the LOVE that has already been sent my way. But...I will also be posting because it helps me to emotionally process and understand exactly what I might be feeling. I feel SO blessed that I have learned SO much over the past couple of years about energy work and emotional processing. This has actually helped my nausea more than ANYTHING.

There is a VERY INFORMATIVE and BEAUTIFUL website called Birth Into Being. They discuss the emotional side of pregnancy in a EXCELLENT article on waterbirth. I LOVE this article and usually give it to my clients to read also. It states much more than the common knowledge about birth and pregnancy that is in most circles. Reading that article was nothing new to me but just helped enlighten what I already believed. If any of you are interested in home birth, I would recommend purchasing the DVD they offer. It is one of the MOST INSPIRING birth videos I have ever seen. For those of you who want to know more about my previous births, just look on my home birth page on my site.

So....there it is. I will post again soon on how I am feeling and what I am eating. Thank you SO much for being there for me, ALL OF YOU!!! My heart is SO FULL of LOVE for you all!!! Each of you have changed my life for the better in one way or another and I feel you are all my brothers and sisters.

Abundant peace,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley