“You find when you get right down to the nitty-gritty of life, no one is going to take care of you but yourself. You are placed on the planet with everything you need already inside of you. Everything is already there. You can’t be upset unless you allow it. You can’t be controlled unless you allow it. You can’t go crazy and lose your mind unless you allow it. You can’t be possessed by a disincarnate entity unless you allow it. This puts you in a very unique position. You are a creator. You can create harmony or discord, happiness or despair, joy or depression, productiveness or lack.” ~ John – Rogers in “Psychic Protection”

This quote is from the book I am reading right now. As I have already discussed in the past, we are creators of our own reality. I have been grateful in my own life that as I listen to my inner knowing and my personal Creator, I then see who and what I really am. This goes right along with the previous post. I am loving putting these ideas into practice and seeing the fruits thereof.

We went to group last night and once again, I released a ton a garbage and saw myself for who I truly am. I feel blessed to be able to let go of so many of the lies I have convinced myself are truths. I feel like shackles that I have been carrying around are being removed one by one. Some have been on so long and have felt so tight and stifling that it feels PAINFUL to let them go. It is as if they have become part of me. Once they are gone, I feel light, free and at peace. It becomes easier for me to accept life as it is.
Mornings are sometimes hard for me. I tend to learn through dreams so in the morning there are times when I feel anxious and annoyed especially if my nighttime learning brought up some unresolved feelings. It just gives me an opportunity to remember what I might have learned. I do this through my morning meditations. I LOVE meditating!!
Well, this morning I was feeling that anxious feeling, partly because I went to bed at 1 am and didn’t get up until 9 and that usually stresses me out, and my kids were all in my room wanting to spend time with Chris and I. My oldest son was working through some issues and I found myself being TOTALLY annoyed that I was wasting time with my kids when I should be BUSY doing something else. Isn’t that a completely selfish thought? You know, it doesn’t seem that selfish at the time because you really think you are helping others by getting our motherly duties done during the day. Right? I am SURE I am the ONLY woman in the world who feels this way.
As we were laying there, Chris was talking to Dean and I made some comment about feeling overwhelmed that I hadn’t done anything and I was being TOTALLY lazy. So then Chris, looks over at me and says “Rach, what could we be doing that is more important than this?” It was like a hit to the heart!! My goodness, here I am making my intention to have faith in the present moment and accept life and blah, blah, blah and look at me. HELLO!! Does it sound like I am getting it? It was an EXCELLENT learning experience for me. I am laughing about it now. It is quite funny! I feel grateful that I was MUCH quicker recognizing this than I might have been in the past. I could have felt bad that I was still clueless but instead I decided to take it in stride and stay positive. This is not always the case nor is it always this easy but the times it is, I feel blessed and happy.
Last night, I must admit, I fell into temptation. I think the hardest part with the food stuff I am doing right now is that because my jaw hurts whenever I chew, I really can never emotionally eat. Oh my goodness! Granted, I have been eating raw food for a long time and I feel I have worked through alot of my emotional eating issues but I still do it from time to time. Last night after our group, I think I was feeling a bit emotional and I was carrying the Pea Casserole I had made back to the kitchen. I couldn’t help myself and I ate about a cup of it. I must admit, it was DELICIOUS!! At first, I felt as if I had failed since I had decided to go at least a month, if not longer, without fat. (I think I did end up going almost or about a month) But…then I felt really glad I had eaten it and was grateful that it tasted so good. I figure I will just jump back on the wagon and all is well. Maybe my body even needed something in since it tasted so good to me. I am open to ALL possibilities.
One last though, I am LOVING durians right now. For those of you who may not know what a durian is, HERE is a website with all the info. I purchase them at The Asian Market on 3rd East and 3rd South in Provo. If you decide to purchase one from there, tell them I sent you. Durians are truly delicate ambrosia in my mouth. Dean, my son who eats all raw with me, has also been on a kick where he can’t get enough of them. So…between the two of us, we are in heaven with the durians. I think it is so funny that just like Noni Juice, NeWays MLM company has created a Durian Fusion that is supposed to be the end all, be all to health. Just go buy the dang fruit and eat it fresh and get ALL the needed nutrients it has to offer. The product they sell has been pasteurized, changed and manipulated in such a way that I have a hard time believing it can even compare to eating the whole fruit. Man, God sure LOVES us, doesn’t he? Every time I eat a durian I feel his LOVE!! Here is what I have eaten.
Monday, June 4th:
1 quart banana/berry smoothie
3 mangos
2 bananas
1 quart green soup
3 mangos
LOTS of watermelon
2 pieces of durian
1 cup Pea Casserole

WHOA! Big eating day for me, wouldn’t you say?

Tuesday, June 5th:
1 quart + 2 cups banana/berry smoothie
1 quart green smoothie
1 quart banana/pineapple/strawberry shake
1 quart green soup which was mixed greens/tomatoes/celery/orange juice/dulse and sea lettuce
2 cups orange juice
That’s about it. Have a LOVING week!
Abundant peace to you all,
Rachel