I have received 2 emails from something called Hidden School. They have a small link to their website at the bottom of the page but I have never been able to pull it up. Both emails have been VERY thought provoking and even inspiring for me. I wanted to share one with you here. This is something that is EXTREMELY hard for me to do. My mind and thoughts seem to be NEVER ending. I understand, and have known for sometime, the importance of quieting our minds to find a peaceful place and can accomplish it on a certain level when meditating. Other than that, it seems to never stop. I feel a bit more successful in this change when I notice myself making that shift at chaotic times of the day especially when I sense I am being taught and it is time for me to really listen.
Thinking too much
It is the nature of the mind to make things much more complicated than it actually is. Since we believe things are complicated we look for complications. In finding complications it confirms that things are complicated thus creating a cycle of thinking too much. This cycle of thinking to much causes a ceaseless and constant chatter within our awareness, in a sense rooting our awareness within our minds as it is demanding our attention.
It is the nature of the mind to make things much more complicated than it actually is. Since we believe things are complicated we look for complications. In finding complications it confirms that things are complicated thus creating a cycle of thinking too much. This cycle of thinking to much causes a ceaseless and constant chatter within our awareness, in a sense rooting our awareness within our minds as it is demanding our attention.
Many thing in this world are not as they appear and in many cases backwards to the natural order of nature. Within our spirits wisdom is to be the master and the intellect the servant. An easy way to see if your intellect is the master is if you have a constant internal dialog, internal chatter and can you stop it at will so you can listen to your wisdom. Can a muddy pond full of thoughts and internal chatter be still enough to reflect and see our true nature and be silent enough to hear the voice of our innate wisdom? One of mans greatest gift”s and yes curse is his mind. When the mind thinks to much the intellect becomes the master and the wisdom the servant. When the mind slows down and the internal chatter quiets the balance is restored and the wisdom becomes the master and the intellect the servant. Slow down, look around you, smell the roses feel the warmth of the sun against your skin. Hear the birds sing while you taste life. Don’t think so much take a moment to hear your wisdom.
If you wish to have wisdom then you must learn to stop that chatter within your minds else how can your wisdom speak to you. Its much like being in a concert with millions of people yelling and trying to hear your friend whisper next to you. To hear him you must quiet your surroundings it is the same with your wisdom, you must quiet your mind. Make it like a still pond so the reflection of reality can be seen.
Isn’t that so LOVELY? I have read and reread it really trying to let it sink in and become part of me so that I can relearn and reapply this truth.
So…..guess what? I have been HORRIBLY sick for the past 5 days. I can’t believe it. About a week and a 1/2 ago, my 10 year old came down with it. It starts with just a headache and body aches, then a fever for a few days and loss of appetite and ends with SEVERE congestion, depending on the person sometimes more in the head or more in the chest.
After Golden got it, then a few days later Dean and Pratt came down with it. A few days after that Millie and I were next. I spent a full week just taking care of pretty sick kids to end up being COMPLETELY out of commission for the past 5 days. Thankfully, all the kids seem to be doing TONS better. You can tell the congestion is getting to them a bit but they are pretty much back to normal.
I, on the other hand, have been MISERABLE!! I can’t even remember the last time I was this sick. My overwhelming uncomfortableness and breathing inability can only be compared to when I came home from the ICU 3 years ago. I am having a hard time sleeping and just relaxing, in general. I think being pregnant has made recovery for me a bit slower. My body has a full time job making another person so trying to combat a powerful sickness might just be a bit much for it right now.
As you have read from me before, I believe there is always an emotional reason behind a physical ailment. That doesn’t mean that the physical side doesn’t have it’s very needed place. It just means that they body is doing all it can to find that homeostatic place and looking at the body as a whole, instead of parts, really helps to relieve any complications or problems of any kind.
Pregnancy is a GREAT cleansing physically, emotionally and spiritually. 4 out of 5 of my sick days I have spent having good crying sessions. I think I have cried more consistently throughout this sickness than at any other time in my life. During those times, I proceeded to pray and meditate to strive and figure out what is going and how I can really turn my heart to my Heavenly Father and Mother and find some answers. Boy did I! This sickness has been so AWESOME in how much more and deeper layers of myself I wasn’t even seeing.
I have learned that I really believed that getting sick would help me escape the craziness of my life right now and give me some kind of break! What a lie, eh? I had a good laugh over how strongly I believed that one. Another is that I believe that life should be hard and I need to suffer or else something is wrong in my world. I guess I thought life wasn’t hard enough so I needed to make it a bit harder so I could appreciate how hard it really wasn’t. I am seeing how life wasn’t nearly as stressful as I thought it was. It can always be worse and until we see that and be grateful for where we at, I think it makes it MUCH easier to use our creative power to teach ourselves how much harder it can really be. This is a specialty of mine.
Oh, I had TONS and TONS of issues come up about being rejected by my husband. He was SO busy that he was unavailable to really help me. I had a goodly amount to complain about once I got sick because in my mind I have spent the last week taking care of sick kids and now I was sick and NO ONE would take care of me. Oh my goodness, I had some good bawl sessions over that one. I was and am very grateful to work on those rejection issues. I could tell they were VERY deep rooted, from childhood. Even if part of my husband was rejecting me, it really doesn’t matter. I should find that LOVE from a place that can constantly give it to me no matter what and how ever much I want it ALWAYS available in as large or small quanities as I want.
I think I finally figured out last night and I am even working on it today, that I have all kinds of support from my God, angels and past on loved ones. That no matter what, there is ALWAYS someone there to support and uplift you and IMHO, who could do it better than them anyway. With prayer and a soft heart, you can be gifted the needed energy to take care of yourself, along with finding the LOVE and CARE you are looking for. Today I am feeling MUCH better than I was 2 days ago but not as well as I would like to be. I will keep working on myself & striving to stay clear, honest and grateful.
From a physical standpoint, I have had almost a non existent appetite since I got sick. I have lost some weight, I know. I have been eating all raw almost exclusively fruit. I feel the baby kick on a regular basis. It makes it even easier since I am laying around doing NOTHING all day, every day. I think he/she is doing so GREAT and is as happy as ever. After 3 days, I finally ate 1 soft boiled egg and seemed to have a bit more energy the next day. I had some appetite last night so I ate a very LARGE salad and LOVED it. Today I have had 2 quarts of green smoothie and some grapes. Another salad is starting to sound good though.
I must add how so EXTREMELY thankful I am for my bathtub and being able to take baths. When I was running a fever, it was such a blessing!! I LOVED it. It helped so much to take away my aches and pains.
Ok, I think I’ve shared enough about my life today. I would so APPRECIATE any LOVE and PRAYERS sent my way. I can tell I am on the mend and am MOST thankful for that.
Abundant peace to all,
Rachel
Hey Rach–
Just came across this today and thought you might enjoy it:
Cool birth affirmations and pics.
hugs,
Apryl
Have you ever read “The Four Agreements”? I think you’d like it…it reminds me a lot of what you were saying about thinking too much!