“Paradoxically, we achieve true wholeness only by embracing our fragility and sometimes, our brokenness. Wholeness is a natural radiance of Love, and Love demands that we allow the destruction of our old self for the sake of the new.”
~Jalaja Bonheim
Before I tell my story I have to talk about my journal entry about how I wanted my birth to be. Rachel suggested I write what I wanted my birth to be like in detail. I completely forgot about it until after my birth and she asked me how close it was to my entry, and I was shocked to remember it was almost spot on!
My contractions started at about 12:30 am and were about 5-8 minutes apart. At this point I don’t remember them being painful, just uncomfortable enough to not be able to sleep through. So I went into my living room and lit my prayer candles. (a few days prior to my birth I wrote inspiring words on candles and said a prayer to go along with them) I turned on my birth mix of music, which was beautifully soothing. It was a combination of tibetan singing bowls, an artist named Deuter, who is amazing, and some celtic instrumentals. As each of my contractions came I would spiral my hips, which I had learned from a beautiful movie called Birth As We Know It, and it helped move the energy through my pelvis. It felt great! This was a very peaceful time for me, and it lasted for about 3 hours. My contractions then slowed to one every ten minutes, and I knew from my previous birth that I should try to sleep. So I laid on my couch with my music still on and slept. When my husband woke up they slowed even more, and I told him to go ahead and go to work. I had been checking myself and knew I was only at four centimeters, and with the contractions being slow I figured they wouldn’t start back up again until night.
I had a great morning with my daughter. We watched a movie and read some books and when she went to take a nap i took one as well.
After about an hour they picked up again to one every ten minutes and were getting really powerful! I called my husband to come home just because I wanted some support. At this point i still thought it would be awhile. He got home around 2 and by then they were extremely powerful and about every 3-5 minutes apart. We hurried to blow up and fill up the pool and by about 2:45 we had managed to fill it half way. In the mean time I had called Rachel to come. I couldn’t check myself anymore because of how close they were, but knew this baby was coming! Spiraling was no longer helping. The only thing I could do at this point was a low moan, and knew from the birth of my daughter that this meant I was either lightly pushing or was soon to be pushing. Rachel arrived at 3 and by then I was ready to push. I was so frightened she wouldn’t make it in time, and when she arrived I was so relieved. Even though I am sure things would have turned out fine had she not gotten there in time, having a woman there for me is amazingly helpful. She encouraged me and reminded me of the power that I had and soon I was feeling my babies head move through my perineum! It was amazing! I helped stretch my skin as his head slowly came out, and soon after I was reaching down to pick Joseph out of the water! I can’t describe to you the euphoria I was experiencing at this time, along with shock that he came so FAST!
So that is my story. I am honored to be a woman and to have this responsibility of bringing these beautiful souls into the world, and someday I hope to be like Rachel in helping other woman recognizing and carrying out this beautiful task! Thank you so much for letting me share my story with you!
With Love,
Lyndsey Merrill
How wonderful! I am so excited to start my journey 🙂 I am so thankful that I have found you Rachel because this is what I wanted with Ryker but was too scared. You are such a wonderful blessing to so many women, I feel so lucky to call you my friend!
What an amazing story! Lyndsey and you are both amazing women who I admire greatly. I am grateful to embark on this journey once again and hope to have another beautiful birth. Thank you for sharing!